I'm Glad We're All Still Afraid of Cooties....

Hey readership. I realized that this month I've tied my record for most bitchings - er, posts, in a month (I did 14 in February of this year as well . . . funnily enough, the most posts in the month with the least amount of days haha), and I wanted to break that record.

BUT. I had no idea what to write about!

Enter the amazingly clever R 'n R with a winner. Here it is suckas.

You ever notice that in public places where sitting is supposed to happen (such as subways, buses, park benches, and waiting rooms), that people just do NOT want to sit next to other people? There's always that minimum one-seat gap between people. On the VERY RARE occasion that people DO sit next to someone that's a stranger, as soon as a seat not directly next to somebody opens up, they're on it like late '90s Whitney Houston was on crack (I still blame Bobby Brown). But for the majority, most people would rather stand than sit down next to somebody that they don't know.

What the hell? I mean, there are really only three situations that I can think of where you would want a one-seat space between you and someone else. One is when the person that you're thinking of sitting down next to is visibly ill. Sniffling, sneezing, coughing, blowing of the nose, etc. are all signs of me not sitting next to you (or anywhere near you, if at all possible). Another is if the person you're thinking of sitting next to is MORBIDLY OBESE. Because that usually leads to the person taking up at least 40% of the seat you're thinking of sitting in, in addition to 100% of the seat that the majority of their girth is situated on, and 40% of the seat on the other side of them. I mean I'm not fat, but I still need 100% of my seat on the bus/subway to be comfortable. The last situation is for men only. It's Man Law that when at the urinal, you MUST have at least one urinal between you and the closest man on either side of you. This means that at a five-man urinal, at most three urinals can be in use at any one time. That is Man Law. So you can't break it.

But barring those three situations, what the fuck. I mean if we were still in like second grade I'd say "well you never know if they got their cootie shot. Circle-circle-dot-dot is too complicated for some people." And yes I would say that in second grade, because I was just as sarcastic of a person then as I am now.

But that's second grade. There's no excuse for that shit now.

Man the hell up and take a seat.

RECORD IS BROKEN BITCHES.

Stay classy