The Wives of Ninjas

Readership, half-asleep in a stupor borne of having to write a 5-page history paper that I didn't know about until yesterday, due today (which I finished), I had a revelation. Ninjas, while awesome, would have made absolutely terrible husbands. Stick with me here.

I'd have to think that a ninja wouldn't tell his wife that he was a ninja at first, which I imagine would lead to some shit.

"Where were you last night, Isao? And what is this stain on your collar? Hmm!?"
"Uhhh. . ."
"Ohhhhh I knew it, you're cheating!"
"Okay, listen. I assassinated a visiting dignitary last night. The stain on my collar is the blood of a traitor."

Yeah that shit wouldn't go over too well.

And also, in Feudal Japan, the wife was basically the servant to the husband. She cooked, cleaned, washed clothes, planted crops, etc. etc.

Ninjas had to have OD high metabolisms (because of all the running, climbing, and fighting they did), so they would always be eating, meaning his wife would be always at the stove cooking some grub up for him to assassinate- er, eat.

Also, ninjas stay slayin' muthafuckas, so there would be a lot of blood splatters on their clothes and whatnot. I dunno about you, but every time I've tried getting blood out of fabric, it's been pretty difficult, especially if it's set in - and you know ninjas did NOT have that Tide To-Go Pen shit handy after they sliced some dishonorable bitch open and got all his blood on his jacket, so that shit's set in by the time he gets home.

From what I understand of women, "I'm gonna sneak around all the time, murdering people and getting my clothes all bloodied and maybe ripped, but you better wash and mend my clothes and make me dinner cuz I'm HUNGRY!" don't fly. I guess for ninjas back in the day, it was less about finding a wife and more about finding a hooker.

Stay classy