Bottled Water - WTF?

Bottled water is something that's puzzled me for quite some time. According to my ol' man, bottled water came into existence because there were a few wiseasses in New York City who thought that their water tasted better than the water in about 99% of the rest of the country. So, being the wiseasses they were, they thought, "hey, why don't we bottle our water - the extravagance and tastiness of which is so much freakin' better than everyone else's - and, I dunno, sell it to everyone else?" And so they did.

Now, my ol' man likes messing with my head about dumb stuff like this, so there is a chance that that story is complete bullshit. Regardless, however, the fact remains that bottled water is quite possibly the stupidest product that has ever been - or ever will be - on the market (and yes, I am including this in that statement). But why is bottled water so dumb?

Why, you ask? It's quite simple, actually - so simple that I can even use your question in the answer: Why the hell would I leave my house, drive my car to a store (especially with gas prices these days), deal with parking, go inside, and wait on a long line to shell out a dollar fifty (and that's minimum) for a bottle of something that I COULD GET FROM THE FAUCET IN MY HOUSE FOR FREE!? In the words of a wise man (I'll let you guess who), "that makes about as much sense as wiping your ass before you take a shit." Also known as, NO SENSE AT ALL.

What's next? Are we going to go to the gas station and drop five bucks in quarters so we can get some air to breathe from the tire pump? That's ridiculous, right?

So is bottled water.

Stay classy.