Standing underneath the foggy glass canopy at the wet bus stop yesterday morning waiting for the Q46 bus to Kew Gardens, rain falling in constant sheets, I realized something: Buses are a pain in the ass.
Usually in New York, from my experience, buses are punctual and efficient. However, yesterday morning, while standing at a bus stop clearly marked as a Q46 stop, it seemed that every bus that stopped was of the QM1 or the QM1a variety, or drove right on by and had “NOT IN SERVICE” flashing across their message boards. “Not in service”? Then why the hell are you driving a clearly marked bus route? Why can I see you when I’m looking impatiently down Union Turnpike back towards St. John’s, anxiously pulling out my Metro Card and praying to God that I have at least two dollars left on it because I don’t have money for a new one, only for your stupid “NOT IN SERVICE” message to crush my dreams and piss me the hell off? At two freakin’ dollars a pop for a ride – coupled with the sheer number of Metro Cards that are bought in any given day (hell, in any given hour) – can’t the MTA afford some sort of portable cloaking devices? You know – so I don’t see these freakin’ “Not in service” buses that flaunt their status as buses with their loud exhaust systems and squeaky-ass brakes, but don’t facilitate their purposes by actually stopping and picking me up? That’s like going to Coldstone for some ice cream, when the place is packed with employees and the ice cream tubs are full of creamy deliciousness, and opening your mouth to order, and one of the guys behind the counter tells you that he’s off-duty. What the hell? Off-duty? Then why are you wearing the Coldstone official uniform and standing in the on-duty employee-only area? That’s pretty damn misleading – not to mention annoying – and I, for one, would be pissed if that were to happen to me (especially because I like Coldstone).
So next time you see a bus with “NOT IN SERVICE” flashing across the top, throw a bottle of Poland Spring at it. Because, as we all know, that shit ain’t good for anything else.
Stay classy.
Usually in New York, from my experience, buses are punctual and efficient. However, yesterday morning, while standing at a bus stop clearly marked as a Q46 stop, it seemed that every bus that stopped was of the QM1 or the QM1a variety, or drove right on by and had “NOT IN SERVICE” flashing across their message boards. “Not in service”? Then why the hell are you driving a clearly marked bus route? Why can I see you when I’m looking impatiently down Union Turnpike back towards St. John’s, anxiously pulling out my Metro Card and praying to God that I have at least two dollars left on it because I don’t have money for a new one, only for your stupid “NOT IN SERVICE” message to crush my dreams and piss me the hell off? At two freakin’ dollars a pop for a ride – coupled with the sheer number of Metro Cards that are bought in any given day (hell, in any given hour) – can’t the MTA afford some sort of portable cloaking devices? You know – so I don’t see these freakin’ “Not in service” buses that flaunt their status as buses with their loud exhaust systems and squeaky-ass brakes, but don’t facilitate their purposes by actually stopping and picking me up? That’s like going to Coldstone for some ice cream, when the place is packed with employees and the ice cream tubs are full of creamy deliciousness, and opening your mouth to order, and one of the guys behind the counter tells you that he’s off-duty. What the hell? Off-duty? Then why are you wearing the Coldstone official uniform and standing in the on-duty employee-only area? That’s pretty damn misleading – not to mention annoying – and I, for one, would be pissed if that were to happen to me (especially because I like Coldstone).
So next time you see a bus with “NOT IN SERVICE” flashing across the top, throw a bottle of Poland Spring at it. Because, as we all know, that shit ain’t good for anything else.
Stay classy.
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