Idiots . . .

Readership, I'm gonna be quick with this one A) because I'm tired as HELL and B) because I'm trying to peep this Yankee game.

But I promised my cousin, electronics and computer guy, creative partner, supplier of all things, and all-around badass Jay that I would bitch about this. And bitch I shall.

Notice, if you will, the picture above. This sign is attached to a wrought-iron gate that's closed 99% of the time, which "guards" the shared driveway between my cousin's house and the neighbor's house. The neighbors, who act as if they're severely retarded, made this sign.

Now, I'm not sure how many of you live in New York (City or State), but for the benefit of those who don't, I'll say this: dialing 311 in New York will give you NY Information. In Connecticut, and most other states (as far as I know), the number to dial for Information is 411 (hence the phrase, "what's the 411?").

In case you haven't gotten the point yet, let me lay it out. These dumb fucks, in an attempt to intimidate anybody who would think "hmm this looks like a good place to park" (because between my cousin, my aunt and my grandma - the three people who live in the house - NONE OF THEM HAVE A CAR), threatened to call Information if someone parks in the driveway.

"Information, how may I help you?"
"There is a car parked illegally in the driveway!"
"Well sir, not to be rude, but WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT?"
". . . oh shit, this is Information. Not the police."
"No shit. Have a nice day."
Click!

Anyway. There you go Jay. Keep it pimpin' pimpin',

And as for the rest of you.

Stay classy