Married Chicks

Readership, married chicks at bars piss me off. Why, you ask? Lemme lay it out flat for you.

First off, every single chick at a bar that's a "chick at a bar" (as opposed to someone sitting at a bar who just happens to have a vagina - and there IS a difference) is dressed sexy. That's the bottom line. They are dressed to sexify your night. Short skirts, belly shirts and plunging necklines - and then the hair and perfume, and whew. There goes your mind.

So, naturally, being a man, you approach these ladies and drop your best lines, and then you get THIS bullshit:

"Uh . . . I'm married."

Uh . . . the fuck? You say you're married? So, uh . . . where the hell's your husband? Does he know you're dressed like a hooker trolling bars every night?

Or is this whole thing bullshit? Did you just hit up a toy store and toss a quarter into a machine, crank the crank and get a fake ass ring to wear, so you can be dressed like a filthy whore and then lure unsuspecting saps into your web of lies, only to be a snarky bitch and shoot them down to make yourself feel better?

Readership, YOU be the judge.

And please, whatever you do.

Stay classy