Readership, I was talking to the ever-lovely Jordan today, and the subject of getting pussy came up.
Oh yeah.
But yeah. She related to me a highly philosophical debate she'd played party to in her days as a bartender. The debate stemmed from the question of "to pay, or not to pay for pussy." While this question was being debated, it was discovered that even if you don't directly pay for it, if you go through conventional channels (i.e. not rape), you will end up paying for pussy, even if it is highly indirectly. An explanation? Of course.
There are two ways to go about getting laid if you're a guy. One, is to hire a prostitute/go to a brothel/etc. This means you pay directly to get pussy. Is it dirty? Probably. Is it good? Probably not. But it's pussy. So you get laid.
The other way is to be a player about it. This is a blanket term for actually talking to a girl and taking her out to dinner and whatnot, and for going to the club and macking, etc.
If you're a broke ass dude, which is the easier of the two for your small budget? Most would say that it would be cheaper to actually mack and be a gent about it, but I'm going to disagree. Why?
How much money did you spend on the outfit you're wearing? Unless you're buying from the bargain bin, a good outfit with name brands is going to run you about $100-$120, then another $100 or so for some fly kicks. The watch, even if it's fake, will run you from $30-$50, and the chain another $50. That right there is $280 minimum. Add taking her to dinner ($40) and a movie ($30), and you're over $370. And factor in gas, and you're over $400.
Let's pause here. This is one date. In the preparation (clothes and transportation) and the actual date, you're spending over $400. And statistically speaking, you're not even likely to get any pussy from her that night.
Looking in your local newspaper at the escort classifieds, you can get a classy escort to come to your house and smash for around $200, depending on where you are.
In summation. While I don't personally prefer going after escorts to looking for a meaningful relationship (which I have now), speaking strictly financially, it is preferable.
Who'da thunk it.
Stay classy
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questionnnnnnn. where are you getting your calculations? while i agree, $400 on one date where you're probably not going to get laid is much more money than a fancy hooker (escort is over-rated, call it what it is, you dirty strumpet =]) how many guys are honestly going to spend $400 on the first date?
ReplyDeletemore than likely, you owned the clothes from a previous pussy-getting occasion. if not, girls really aren't too upset with jeans and a tshirt. the whole plan is to take the clothes off anyway, right?
and i'm not sure where you're going to the movies, but times square (and i'm having a hard time imagining you're going to find a more expensive theater) is 24 bucks for two tickets, and more than likely the girl is smart enough to bring snacks in her purse -- if not, well, you just had dinner. tell her to hold off.
but if you reallyyyyyy want to get laid.
make her dinner at your house/apartment/mom's basement. you're not going to spend more than $20 bucks on food, and the effort of making her dinner is much more romantic than anywhere you're going to get a nyc meal for under $40. throw in some candles for 2 or 3 bucks, and grab a cheap bottle of wine for $7.
rent a movie, or watch one of those many dvd's you own from endless nights at home with mom, pop in the movie, pour a few glasses of that cheap wine..
and BAM.
clean pussy for under thirty bucks.
Personally, if I'm going on a first date with someone new, I'd like to have SOMETHING new to wear. That said, as you know, I'm a Poor-Rican, so it would probably be something like new socks (as opposed to a whole new outfit), but still. If I had the means I'd shell out the dough to get the sexy clothes in order to make a better first impression. But yes, at the end of the night, the idea is to take the clothes off anyway. Haha.
ReplyDeleteAs for the whole "to be, or not to be (eating movie popcorn/candy)" point you bring up, I wouldn't expect my date to smuggle candy and such treats into the movies, because I would feel it would be rude to expect such a thing, and I'd also feel bad when the whole "wtf you didn't smuggle in any freakin' candy!?" discussion occurred. And a movie without popcorn and/or candy, even after a satisfying dinner, is no movie experience I wish to have, or to share with someone who may potentially make me very happy in the future.
Finally, with regards to your whole "romantic mom's basement dinner" idea, while it is indeed legitimately intriguing, some people (yours truly included) don't have the means to do such a thing. I don't have my own place (house or apartment), and my parents' basement is decidedly sans stove - AND my folks would bug the hell out of my date and me if I were to try to use the kitchen to create such a romantic dinner.
A very insightful comment though.
By the way, can we kill this idiot? Thanks.