Mixed Signals Can Eat a Dick

Readership, I was having a conversation via Facebook Chat with my homeslice Sam aka Sam-E, and we readily came to an agreement: mixed signals can eat a dick. Let's get into a scenario here.

Guy invites girl out for dinner and a movie. Everything goes really well - nice restaurant, pleasant conversation, lots of laughs, the movie is enjoyable - all in all, a perfect night for two. Guy brings girl home, maybe a peck on the cheek at the door, then they part ways. Girl updates her Facebook status, something to the tune of "had a great time tonight :)", which Guy likes as soon as he gets home and checks his Facebook. Next morning, Guy texts Girl "good morning :)" or something cute.

Fast forward a week.

Guy isn't responding to texts. Guy isn't sending texts. No communication from Guy whatsoever.

Well, now, ain't this some ol' bullshit. Not picking on guys, because girls are often guilty of this as well (and I've been on the "wtf" end of this situation a couple of times, myself), but still. What the fuck.

Now, sometimes it's an honest mistake. Some people are just really ignorant to the signs and signals that they're sending out to people, and are genuinely surprised when someone who they see as a really close friend of the opposite sex is suddenly nose to nose, alternating between the "kiss me" eyes and staring at your lips. I've been on both sides of that situation (both the ignorant mixed-signals-sender and the kiss-wanting-friend) a few times, and to be honest, I didn't even know what was going on in either case until it was far too late and awkward. Thankfully I've been able to re-establish relations with the females in question (for the most part).

I digress.

Next, there are those malicious bastards that see what they're doing, and continue to do it, knowing full well that they're leading someone else on. Then, when they realize that this poor bastard is far too deeply infatuated to play the whole thing off as a joke, they split, hence the "good morning text to zero communication" maneuver. Not gonna lie, I sorta did that once, but once I realized what was going on, I pulled back into distant friend mode and everything's been working out pretty well since.

But yeah. Mixed signals can eat a massive dick. Especially if they're intentionally mixed. Like a dirty vodka martini of deception. Shaken, not stirred. Like your emotions.

I'm gonna stop now.

Also, I dunno if you know this, but this was my 180th post on this blog. Not quite a legit milestone, but definitely something I'm proud of. Thanks to all three or four of you who have been here since day one, and thanks to everybody that's jumped on since. It's good to know there are people who think what I'm saying is worth listening to.

And not that I have to tell you after 180 posts, but I'll do it anyway.

Stay classy