Why Do You Say Such Stupid Shit? Volume 7

Readership, I'm back. Yes, back. Again. With yet ANOTHER installment of the only regular "columns." I have to ask, Readership: Why do you say such stupid shit? Volume 7.

First off, from my homeslice Sam aka Sam-E: "What's good?"

There are a lot of things that are good. Sex is good. Beer is good. Food is good. Music is good. Sleep is good.

However, if someone were to come to you and say "Hey bro what's good?" and you were to respond with "sex," while you'd be 100% correct, they wouldn't be too happy with you. But fuck it, do it anyway. And let me know how they react.

Secondly, courtesy of Waldy aka Sh80 (he didn't like Waffles so we switched it up), we have "dead ass."

What THE fuck. "Dead ass?" How do you figure that is an affirmative statement? A dead ass is nothing that I'd want around me. Makes no got-damn sense.

Lastly, "who's laughing now?" Scenario:
Super evil guy has a plot to take over the world. His plot involves shooting dark matter into the atmosphere. Super good guy snags him just before he fires the dark matter cannon, in a harrowing move that leaves four dead and countless wounded in a collapsed building. Lots of sadness, even though it was resolved relatively positively. Fast forward a week, and now super good guy has been captured by super evil guy, who has him dangling from some evil sort of super death trap involving a vat of molten gold. Super evil guy says something along the lines of "Well, Mr. Super Good Guy, who's laughing NOWWWW!?"

Uh . . . who the fuck was laughing BEFORE? Did you not see the massive crater that used to be a building where all those people died?

Not funny, dick.

Stay classy