For the Ladies

Readership, maybe it's the smell of spring in the air, but I've been noticing a marked increase in what I'd like to call "Oblivious Romantic Attachment." Since today is Opening Day for the New York Yankees, and I'm watching the game now, I'm going to keep this short and sweet. Peep it.

Ladies. If you have a male best friend, who is always down to chill, always there when you want to vent about some asshole, always down to beat the absolute shit out of a random stranger just because he looks at you funny, always okay with buying you stuff and taking you places, etc. etc., if he's not gay, he's totally and completely crazy about you.

Now, with this new-found knowledge, don't just drop it all on him - don't be like "so are you crazy about me?" Because 99% of the time he'll deny it flatly and lie right to your face. You ladies are crafty - feminine wiles and all that shit - so use some of that to see how he really feels, and if you feel the same way, let him know. There's always the chance that he's just a REALLY good guy friend and has nothing but friendly feelings towards you. But it wouldn't kill you to use all your feminine wiles and shit to figure it out. Just to be sure.

Because I've been there, and let me tell you, it's hard to dry the tears off my shoulder after some guy was a dick, and to listen to the whole "I can't find any good guys" speech, and the whole "I want my husband to be my best friend" speech, while all the while I'm standing right there, fulfilling every requirement for her "perfect man" or whatever, and still shit out of luck.

No, this isn't happening currently. I'm happily single. But it's happened before, and I'm trying to prevent it from happening any more. Baby steps.

Stay classy