Ford's Swap Your Ride - Could it be? Yes, ANOTHER WTF?

Readership, I've been watching a bit more television these days, and I've stumbled upon a new batch of car commercials. Ford has started this sales event, wherein they go to a random-ass person who drives something other than a Ford, and swap that person's vehicle for the closest Ford equivalent. For example, if the person is driving a Chevy Cobalt, they'll switch it for the Ford Fusion, etc. The kicker? The person who's getting their car swapped out doesn't know about it; nor do they give their consent.

Ford Swap Your Ride? Nah bitch, more like Ford SWIPE Your Ride. Where I'm from, that shit would get you shot or arrested, depending on whether you got caught by the car's owner or the cops.

I digress.

In the commercials, every one is all "heyyy we swapped your ride out for a Ford yayyy" and then the person who owned the non-Ford is all "oh my goshhhh you guysss okayyy I'll drive it" etc. etc. And then Mike Rowe (that old guy from "Dirty Jobs" on Discovery Channel) tells them all this sales pitch bullshit about the Ford they're driving, and then at the end they're all sold about getting rid of their non-Ford to get a Ford.

First of all, I'm calling bullshit. If, after driving a Ford, I was sooo impressed that I wanted to get rid of my non-Ford and then buy a Ford, I would first have to sell my non-Ford. I dunno about you, Readership, but my dad's been trying to sell his 1981 Corvette for about two years now. Maybe more. In this recession, it's almost impossible to sell a car because nobody wants to buy one because nobody has any money. Also, how the hell am I gonna be able to sell my non-Ford when everybody's seen these commercials detailing how fucking awesome Fords are and how shitty non-Fords are? Who wants a shitty non-Ford?

Secondly, what the fuck? I hope, that if/when I get a car and if it's not a Ford (which it probably won't be, because my family has owned two Fords and they both blew major donkey balls), that my friends are smart enough to know that randomly swapping my car out for a Ford without my consent will piss me right the fuck off. It's MY SHIT. What gives anybody the idea that basically stealing someone's car to make a point is okay?

The fact that it's stealing aside, people put some very sensitive shit in their car sometimes. The heavier you are into, shall we say, shady dealings, the more this would piss you off, and/or call for idiots getting fitted for cement shoes.

"Hey Carlito! We swapped out your Mercedes CLK for a Ford Fusion! Mira, it's Mike Rowe!"
"WHAT THE FUCK? Venga, Paco - GET THAT FUCKING CAMERA OUTTA HERE! Paco, where's my car?"
"N-no se man, calmate, what's wrong?"
"Puto, there's six kilos of coke in the running boards and taped under the seats, and I was supposed to deliver the car in twenty minutes. We're fucking DEAD, CULO!"

Or something to that degree.

Bottom line, just because you have a camera crew and a quote-unquote "celebrity," does NOT mean that if you steal my car - steal my car, moreover, to replace it with a piece of ABSOLUTE SHIT - you won't get your ass kicked. I've said it once, and I'll say it again: I'm not afraid to beat an old man's ass in public.

Bring it on Mike Rowe. Old ass bitch.

As for you, Readership. You know what to do already.

Stay classy