It Takes One to Know One - Y'know . . . or NOT

Hey everybody. Before I get into this observation, I just want to explain something about my relationship with my little sister.

She's a herb. For those who don't know what "herb" means, I'll give you a standard definition.

Herb (pronounced "HURB") (noun): Nerd; dork; geek; generally uncool person. Originated in early 1980s Burger King ad campaign in which a nerd named HERB was featured. The term was subsequently embraced by the hip hop generation. (courtesy of urbandictionary.com)

Anyway.

I was doing the dishes today, and my sister said something pretty stupid that prompted me to say aloud, "Wow, you're a herb." To which my mother replied, "It takes one to know one."

WRONG! It does NOT take one to know one. Let me lay out the illogical nature of this everyday phrase.

By saying that it takes one to know one, you're saying that in order to know a certain type of person, you have to be one yourself. If that doesn't sound stupid enough to you, let me take it a step further.

I know a loser. In fact, I know many losers. Does that make me a loser? No.
I know a Mexican. Does that make me a Mexican? No.

Now normally, these two true statements would prompt a reasonably sarcastic person (who knows me at least a little bit) to say "Oh really? You don't say!" or something related. However . . .

I know a mother. Does that make me a mother? Hellll no.
I know someone who died from sleep apnea. Does that make me someone who died from sleep apnea? How the hell could it?

"It takes one to know one" is a feeble cop-out. If you can't think of anything a bit more potent to say, then you're a herb.

Ya herb.

So, the next time someone you know says, "It takes one to know one," turn to them and say, "Well I know YOU, but that doesn't make ME a retard."

And walk away.

With ya bad self.

Stay classy