Cereal Ads Piss Me Off

First off, I'd like to welcome Katie aka JavaGrava as a reader. Apparently, she's been secretly reading for some time, and the fact that she was reading was only brought to my attention quite recently. So that brings me up to what, twelve? Thirteen? Whatever. Welcome anyway, Miss. It's a lot more fun than it seems, I promise.

Anyway.

Cereal ads piss me off. For example, the ads for Lucky Charms. "They're always after me Lucky Charms!" NO SHIT, Sherlock. Let's look at this logically, Lucky - you have a sugary, sweet, colorful breakfast cereal with MARSHMALLOWS, and these are KIDS. The fuck did you think was gonna happen? Of COURSE they're always gonna be after your damn Lucky Charms. Here's an idea - why don't you just GIVE them some, and get them off your back? I mean, can't you spare a few boxes - you MAKE the shit, don't you?

And then there's Trix. We have a TALKING, BIPEDAL rabbit being thwarted at every turn by a bunch of kids who keep stealing his freakin' cereal and yogurt. While I'd be mad if kids kept stealing my cereal and yogurt, and rationalizing the theft of said cereal and yogurt with the phrase "Trix are for kids!" ("so is my BELT!" - my Dad one time that he saw a Trix commercial), I'd eventually realize: I'm a freakin' TALKING, BIPEDAL rabbit. I can be doing so much with my freakin' life. I could be FAMOUS, I could have a MANSION, I could be on OPRAH - my life could be the SHIT. I know for DAMN sure I wouldn't spend untold thousands of dollars to steal back MY shit and then fly around the world for God knows how long trying to keep it from some fucking fourth graders. And that reminds me - how in the shit did those kids find him wherever the hell he was? You're KIDS, where are the PARENTS in this situation - where the Black Jesus are you getting the money for this trip? I mean, shit, why such drastic measures for freakin' cereal? You're spending thousands of dollars to fly around the world - you can get a double-pack of Trix cereal at BJ's or Sam's Club for like $3.50. What the hell are you thinking?

Bleh.

Whatever.

Stay classy