Pigeons

Readership, having been born in suburban Connecticut and lived there for 18 or so years before going to college in New York City, there are countless very dramatic differences between the two - as well as a bunch of subtle ones. One such subtle difference is the behavior of the pigeons in New York City as opposed to the ones in Connecticut.

In Connecticut, the pigeons are pussies. Plain and simple. Basically, you look at one the wrong way and it flies south, regardless of what season it is. If you make a gunshot noise, they scatter like the Whos when the Grinch rolls through. It's actually quite pathetic.

In New York City, however - whoa. These pigeons are hard-fucking-core, man. I walked right up to one last year and gave it the evil eye, and it stared ME down. From around the same height as my ankles, it stared me DOWN. I had to back down and give the little thug some space. I've rolled like four deep, with it being me and three pigeons. They're gangsta as hell. And make a gunshot noise at them? I tried that shit once, and the little fucker pulled out a Glock 9 and ran me for my fitted, then flew away. I was like "what the fuck?"

All that said, squirrels in New York City are just as bitchmade as they are in Connecticut.

Stay classy