Group Interviews Suck Ass

I recently had a group interview at a major clothing store (since I'm not a dick I won't say which one), and I'm going to have to say that they suck major dong.

When I went to the interview, not only was I kept waiting for twenty minutes, but they bullshat me. After the group interview (which I'll get to later), there were individual interviews - if you could call it that. The interviewer called me into the office, and before I'd even finished closing the door (let ALONE sat down), I was told that there were no job openings (and I was the third person called in out of 16 total - what the hell was the interviewer going to say to the other 13? That's some ol' bullshit).

But yeah, to the actual group interview. There were 16 people in the room, including me, and we were all asked questions as a group and were expressly told NOT to speak over each other (how the fuck does that work? You're asking us all the same question at once and we're competing for a limited number of jobs. Of course we're going to want to get our piece said first). I noticed that there were a few archetypes of characters in the room. There was the SUPER PROFESSIONAL old lady that sat next to me and read off the company's mission statement and other company-morale-related shit in response to the questions being asked; the foreigners who have TONS of work experience in "old country" but none here (not ragging on them, I just found it funny); the single mother who spent more time explaining the hours she was available than she did giving her example of great customer service; the out-of-work professional who's wearing a pimpin' business suit but has 24-7 availability so you know they're unemployed; the cookie-cutter airheads that all give the same exact answers and have the "I'm a people person" speech down to a science; and the one guy from like Uganda who is SUPER PASSIONATE about what he's saying, but his thick-ass accent makes it so you have absolutely no clue what the hell he's talking about.

I mean, I'm sure that there are well-done group interviews (I'm actually positive, as my girlfriend had a well-done group interview today, at the same mall, ironically enough), but this was not one of them. I mean, the thing that pissed me off the most was twofold. One, the fact that I was on time and had left early from my dorm - and brought my girlfriend with me so she could drop off her applications and offer moral support - and was kept waiting for at least twenty minutes past the time for which my appointment was scheduled; and two, the fact that they bullshat the hell out of me, because they knew that there were jobs or else they wouldn't have called me to the "individual interview" (aka "bullshit interview," aka "open door, attempt to close door, get bullshat, leave") third out of 16 people. What happened to the other 13, did they get jobs or did they get bullshat too? Who knows. Moreover, who cares?

I need a fucking job!

Stay classy