James Bond's Bang-a-Chick System (tm)

I'm sitting here watching "James Bond 007: Tomorrow Never Dies" and I just had a freakin' revelation, something that I've probably been subconsciously thinking about for the past twelve years of my life or some deeply profound shit like that.

Basically, I break James Bond's Bang a Chick System (tm) down like this: If James Bond talks to a chick for more than, say, five seconds, there's about a 99.99999999999999% chance that before the movie is over, he's gonna sacrifice her vagina to Aphrodite (metaphorically speaking). Either that or she'll be dead.

There ARE, however, exceptions to this rule, namely two: James Bond's boss, M; and M's secretary, Moneypenny. Now, I can understand staying away from M - I mean, she's old, AND she's his boss. But Moneypenny is neither old nor his boss, and is available (a fact I've gleaned from her constant and obvious passes at Mr. Bond throughout the years). The only explanation I have for this is that Miss Moneypenny has some sort of deadly dangerous venereal disease (my guess is crabs). As we all know, based on his history, James Bond is promiscuous, yes - but he is far from stupid.

Many men, I'm sure, wish that the James Bond Bang-a-Chick System (tm) actually worked. As most intelligent people have known for a while, however, it is, in actuality, bullshit.

So.

Yeah.

Stay classy.