The Doubleservation Part 2: Asher Roth is a Fucking Bitch

As promised, here is Part 2 of the Doubleservation: Asher Roth is a Fucking Bitch.

His "hit" song, "I Love College," is all the proof I need in this argument. However, for the sake of clarity (and because I REALLY don't wanna be reading psychology and this wastes time AND lets me bullshit at the same time . . . win -win!), I'll elaborate.

First of all, the chorus. "Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat, then do it again, man I love college." Did Asher Roth even GO to college? Because if he did, then he was a fucking idiot. No self-respecting college student, after passing out at 3, would wake up at 10 (unless they were somewhat studious and had class, but if they had class and WEREN'T somewhat studious, they'd say fuck class and not get up at 10 either).

And then a little later we have the chant section. If I was at a party, and some herb started chanting "FRESHMEN! FRESHMEN! FRESHMEN!" I'd put down my drink, pick up a lamp, and break it over his head, then stomp him. Because screaming "FRESHMEN!" randomly isn't something cool to do at a party. Or anywhere else, for that matter. Ditto goes for "DO SOMETHIN' CRAZY!" If some asshole screamed that at a party I was at, I'd kick the shit out of him, and while he was barely conscious, lying on the floor, I'd look down at him and say "Was that crazy enough for you, ya fucker?"

Because of this, I have officially launched a personal vendetta against Asher Roth. I hereby swear that if, in the course of my life and travels, I happen to cross paths with Asher Roth in a public or private setting, I will kick his ass. With all fifteen of you and the untold infinity of people that comprise the Internet as my witnesses, I swear to uphold that oath. Amen.

And of course, people . . .

Stay classy