Blue Whales are Dicks (no pun intended . . . sorta)

Readership, I was having a conversation with R 'n R, and we had a freakin' revelation: Blue Whales are dicks!

Now looking at things literally, Blue Whales actually are dicks. Blue Whales have the largest penises in the entire world, at a whopping 16 feet. That would tear your shit up, Vaginas. Their entire length is around 80 feet. Holy shit. The Blue Whale's penis is twenty percent of its total length.

Just let that sink in for a second (no pun intended . . . again).

Now, whales don't get freaky - they don't put P in Vajay, as we do. Basically, a Blue Whale just swims around into warm waters, doing his "I'm a Blue Whale" thing, and spontaneously busts a nut. And then, a female whale is just chillin', swimmin' through some warm water doin' her whole "I'm chillin'" thing, and then - whoops, she's pregnant.

What a dick move, male Blue Whale.

What if that female Blue Whale wanted to go to college? Now you've just fucked her chances up. What if she was swimming on her way to go buy books, or register for classes? Now she's preggers. What the hell is she supposed to do now? How is she gonna tell her parents?

YOU'RE A DICK, MALE BLUE WHALE! AND YES THE PUN WAS INTENDED!

Dick.

Stay classy