They Must've Thought 1950s Kids Were RETARDED

Readership, I was surfing through good ol' YouTube when I caught this little gem. The more I watched, the more ridiculous it became, to the point where it wasn't even funny anymore, because I realized that the people making this video (aka the U.S. Government, against which I've called shenanigans before) were quite serious. Peep.



Some quotes that made me chuckle or scratch my head - and in some cases, both:
1:05- "The principle dangers of a blast are flying glass and debris."
Really? No, seriously? Yeah? Well shit, then I'm a lot better off than I thought. Cuz I was thinking the principle danger would be, I dunno, THE FUCKING NUCLEAR EXPLOSION. Who knew?

1:45- "However, the majority of people exposed to radiation recovered completely."
Hahaha BULLSHIT. A quick Google search yields this. The quick version? YOU CAN'T FUCKING TREAT RADIATION SICKNESS.

2:55- "If you live in a private home that is well-built, the cellar is the safest place to be."
Not it's not dumbass. If a 50 Megaton explosion (i.e. the equivalent force of 50 million tons of TNT) goes off anywhere near your house, you could be anywhere you want, you're fuckin' dead times twelve and a half.

The funniest one though, is visual. From 6:48 to 7:02. I'm not even gonna say anything more than YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Holy Black Jesus, what in the sam hill was the U.S. Government thinking? I mean, I understand not wanting to freak people out and whatnot, but there's a difference between not wanting to cause an uproar and COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY BULLSHITTING THE HELL OUT OF THE AMERICAN PUBLIC.

Which is what the U.S. Government did.

Surprise surprise.

Stay classy