Cash For Gold? Now That's Some Ol' Bullshit

Okay readership, apparently the price of gold has absofuckinglutely skyrocketed in the past maybe month and change. If not skyrocketed, at the very least the price of gold risen enough to warrant about a zillion different companies that all seem to have the same sales pitch: put all of your fucked up/unwanted gold into our envelope and send it to us. We'll weigh it and pay you in cash through the mail, then melt the gold down and do basically whatever the fuck we want with it.

Okay let's take it back a little.

First of all, have you ever seen one of those envelopes? Check it out. If that doesn't scream "STEAL ME!" I don't know what does. It's freakin' ridiculous - why the hell am I gonna put all my scrap/fucked up/unwanted gold into THAT and then send it in the mail? Do you really think I'm THAT stupid? I mean, yeah, if you put it into a legit mailbox (like the blue ones on the corner) instead of into your own mailbox outside your house, then there's less of a chance of it getting stolen - by common thieves.

But now you have the problem of the bitchass postal workers stealing your shit (I'm sure that there are a lot of trustworthy, nice postal workers. But they don't seem to work anywhere around me). I mean yeah, a couple hundred bucks to a G and change definitely isn't worth the trouble they'll be in if they get caught (which they most likely won't), but when was the last time that logic was ever worth a damn with people? Yeah, I can't remember either.

And then there's the simple fact that you can't send cash through the mail. At all. So IF your gold gets to their "processing plant," you're gonna have to wait for a check to clear to get your money. Wasn't the whole point of this entire transaction to get money for your gold QUICKLY? It ends up being a question of whether you get money for your gold at ALL.

And that, dear readership, is some ol' bullshit.

Stay classy