"I Could Give a Fuck!"

Readership, if there's one thing I hate, it's people who try to correct you when you use a figure of speech or turn a phrase. For example: "I could care less." Yeah, yeah, if you say that, TECHNICALLY it means that you have the ability to care less than you actually do, which means that if there was a numerical equivalent to how much you cared at the moment, it would be greater than 0 - an indication that you actually DO care. Everybody KNOWS what you mean when you say "I could care less," but there are a select group of DOUCHEBAGS who will make it a point to correct you and say that it should be "I COULDN'T care less," indicating that there is no level of caring below your level of total notgivingafuckery.

So yeah. I hate those select douchebags who love to correct shit like that. However, what I hate even MORE is when these douchebags correct that shit AND ARE DEAD FUCKING WRONG. Examples? Oh, I have a good one, readership. It's the phrase, "I could give a fuck."

The argument with "I could give a fuck" is that since you're admitting that you have the ability to give a fuck, that means deep down somewhere, you actually DO give a fuck. This is WRONG. Why is it wrong? Let me give you an alternate scenario.

There are three people in a room. One is just your average guy off the street. Nothing special, nothing remarkable, just your average Joe. The second guy has an extremely rare disease, which is slowly killing him, and is in its final, painful, terminal stages. He has less than a week to live. The disease is curable, but only by one doctor in the entire world. Lastly, the third guy IS the one doctor that can cure the disease. Also in the room is every piece of medical equipment that the doctor would need to cure the sick man.

Now answer me this: If the sick guy asks each of the other men, one by one, to cure him, is it worse that the average Joe says no, or is it worse that the doctor says no? Of COURSE it's worse that the doctor says no. The average guy couldn't cure the sick guy no matter how much he wanted to, but the doctor COULD, yet he CHOOSES NOT TO.

This brings me back to my original point. In saying "I could give a fuck," I'm saying that yes, I could give a fuck if I really wanted to - it's wholly and totally within my power to do so - but I DON'T FUCKING WANNA. Which, in my opinion (and logically), is a lot worse than me just not giving a fuck.

So take that.

Fucker.

Stay classy