The Single Biggest Conversational Mistake You Can Make

Readership, this is something I've known for years. However, it took a conversation with R 'n R to make me realize it.

The single biggest conversational mistake you can make - is to ask someone what they do for a living.

Through my metaphysical third eye I can see all of you nodding your heads. You've obviously been there.

"So what do you do for a living?"
"Well . . . basically" - because that's always how this shit starts, as they're trying to dig for extra shit to say to make their job sound important - "basically, I'm a refuse collection technician. What I do is, in the morning, I get into my uniform and I board the RCT - Refuse Collection Technician - vehicle and we drive around the city at specific days and times, using specifically calculated routes, and perform our RCT duties. It's pretty cushy, I get paid pretty well and the work is usually done by noon, so I get the rest of the day to myself."
Do you know what the non-dickhead name for the job I just described was?

A fucking garbage man.

That's a fictional example, but here's a real one. I visited some family in Florida for my cousin Cisco's "welcome back from Iraq/birthday" party. One of my cousins works for the people who do those "As Seen on TV" things. He's the guy who puts the orders in.

That's his job. He's the guy who puts the orders in. If you'll notice, I described the ENTIRETY of his job in an eight-word sentence.

He LITERALLY spent a good 45 minutes to an hour explaining his job to me. Meanwhile I'm nodding and going "yeah, yeah I hear you" and shit, just thinking "Jesus bro, shut the hell up I'm trying to play fuckin' Slime Volleyball over here..."

BIGGEST CONVERSATIONAL MISTAKE.

Remember that.

And please, if you remember nothing else, remember this.

Stay classy