Are We Really that Stupid?

Readership, during a Google search of "how to rank up on Halo 3" (yes, I've been getting a little frustrated lately with the seemingly arbitrary rising and falling of my rank online, I'll admit it), my phone went off as Waffles texted me. After answering the text, I looked back to my computer screen to see that of the seven words of my search query, I had only typed in the first two.

Now, Google has this nifty little thing it does that "suggests" what you might be searching for, based on whatever you've already typed in. This is a real time-saver sometimes, because it makes it so that you don't have to type in the entire search query, and can instead just click on the one you intended to type and be on your merry searching way.

With "how to" in the search bar, a few things popped up. Two of the first three bothered me a little bit.

First, we have "how to tie a tie," which, I'll admit, was something that puzzled me until about a year ago. If you have no idea what you're doing, tying a tie is quite difficult, and in this age of Googling the answers to life's questions, it would almost be expected for you to Google "how to tie a tie." So that was the one that DIDN'T bother me.

The second one, however, started to bite at me a little bit. "How to kiss." I mean, boiled down to its bare essentials, kissing in its entirety can be accomplished in two steps: 1. Move in 2. Touch lips. I'm nowhere near naive or ignorant enough to think that that's it, and I do know that there are far more intricacies into the subtle art and exact science that is being a good kisser (and, not to toot my own horn, but I've been told on numerous occasions by different chicas that I'm quite a good kisser - AND I NEVER GOOGLED "HOW TO KISS"). That said, Googling "how to kiss" is A) unproductive (just do it and work it out from there man) and B) kinda pathetic (you're seriously Googling "how to kiss"? come on man). So yeah, that one was a little bothersome.

But the third one - ooooh the third one was the worst of all.

"HOW TO GET PREGNANT"

P IN VAJAY BUST A NUT AND WAIT. If the fucking cavemen didn't worry about all the ovulation cycles and all that other technical bullshit, and WE'RE STILL HERE, I guess it doesn't matter much past penis+vagina+semen+time=pregnancy.

Just had to let that out. Now I'm gonna go see how to rank up on Halo.

Stay classy