"It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's an Idiot with Visual Spatial Deficiencies!"

Readership, as I drove down the highway with my running mate Waffles and R 'n R, headed towards a day of shenaniganery on Long Island, I had a thought (rare occurrence, I know).

I'm pretty sure that old-school Superman is a little before the times of most people that read this (I know it's before MY time). But the thing that everybody seemed to say when they clapped eyes on Superman has transcended time and space and has become a phrase known all over the place. You know what I'm talking about: "Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's SUPERMAN!"

How fuckin' stupid is that?

"It's a bird! Something that can only grow to be around 12 feet wide!"

"No! It's a plane! Something that's got a maximum length of 239 feet and a wingspan the size of a football field!"

"No, you're BOTH wrong! It's Superman! A being from outer space that's only about 6'3"!"

So you went from something that can't fit into a football stadium to a PERSON!? How the fuck can you mistake a PERSON in the sky for an AIRPLANE?

Fuckin' ridiculous.

Stay classy