"Have Fun!"

Hey readership. It's been a while since I've had something to bitch about (besides the fact that I need a job - but that's something I share with the estimated 27,145,000 other Americans that are unemployed as of April 2009). But now I'm back!

Anyway.

The phrase "have fun" has become a drastically overused stupid thing to say. I mean, there are times when "have fun" is a perfectly acceptable and proper response - and then there are times when replying with "have fun" makes you sound like a doofus. I'll give a few examples of both below.

PROPER USE OF "HAVE FUN"

1. "I'm gonna go to Six Flags today!"
"Have fun!"
2. "Dude, my girlfriend's visiting for the night and we haven't seen each other in forever, do you think I could have the room for tonight?"
"No prob man, have fun."
3. "Well, that's the last of my packing, I'm off to college."
"Be safe, and have fun!"
etc. etc.

Notice how each and every one of these situations has a high potentiality for fun - Six Flags is just a bundle of fun, you assume if you haven't seen your significant other in a while that you will have some fun (whether it be good-natured . . . or naughty), and college . . . well college is a shitton of fun (rhymin'!)

Now, let's look at the flip side of the coin, where saying "have fun" puts you in danger of getting beaten with a stick.

IMPROPER, STICK-BEATING-WORTHY USE OF "HAVE FUN"

1. "I'll talk to you later, I'm gonna go take a shower."
"Okay, have fun!"
2. "Dude, I'm prairie-doggin', wait for me, I'm gonna go take a shit."
"All right man, have fun."
3. "Yeah, so I'm gonna go to bed. I gotta get up at like 5 tomorrow morning to make my flight home."
"Haha okay, have fun."

Notice here that the potentiality for fun in these three examples is SIGNIFICANTLY LESS THAN the first three examples I presented. Let's look at them case-by-case.

1. "I'll talk to you later, I'm gonna go take a shower."
"Okay, have fun!"
Ohhhh man, don't worry, I will! I have my go-kart track, my arcade, and my moonbounce in there, so I'll be having a hell of a time in that shower. Seriously, dumbass? There are really only two times you can expect to have any kind of "fun" in the shower. Either you're by yourself, or you're not. I'll let you fill in the details.

2. "Dude, I'm prairie-doggin', wait for me, I'm gonna go take a shit."
"All right man, have fun."
You know, had you said this to me when I was about 18 months to 3 1/2 years old, then it might've made sense. But seeing as I haven't been in the Anal stage of psychosexual development in fucking 16 years, no, I most likely WON'T be having any fun taking a shit - and with the amount of fiber the average American gets, it'll be even LESS fun, because the shit's gonna be hard as hell and it's gonna feel like a rusty metal pipe sliding out of your ass.

That got a little graphic. I'm sorry. Last one.

3. "Yeah, so I'm gonna go to bed. I gotta get up at like 5 tomorrow morning to make my flight home."
"Haha okay, have fun."
Where the hell is the fun in waking up at 5 in the morning to get on a plane full of crying babies and smelly people!?

Clearly, people are either completely retarded, or they have a definition of fun that is VERY different from my own (and from Webster's).

Sheesh.

Stay classy